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I expect, if asked, most men in the West would say that orgasm and ejaculation happen at the same time, are intimately connected and inseparable. Women are not faced with this situation as they do not ejaculate and can experience multiple orgasms, whilst the man who ejaculates stereotypically rolls over and goes to sleep when he has discharged his load. He is done for the time being. Tantra indicates that orgasm and ejaculation are two processes that can be separated. Orgasm

I started writing this blog because stepping into and delivering massage, tantric practices in particular, has opened me up to amazing new body and sexual experiences so I wanted to share this with other men. Whilst searching online for information about kinks I read this, “The first thing I like to tell people to do is to get curious,” says Goddess Amina, a certified somatic sexologist and a guest expert on Netflix's Sex, Love & Goop. “Just let curiosity guide you…and then s

In some tantric massages all the body is explored to discover the sensitive, arousing areas of that particular person, and in women the start of Extended Sexual Orgasm is with nipple massage. How much attention do men pay to their nipples as erogenous areas? Three of my clients have highlighted how important their nipples are in their arousal and sexual experience. The first was unusual in that he was quite clear what he was looking for in massage at his first appointment. Sl

I have always hoped that those who come to me for massage will enjoy the massage experience, but I also hope they may take some of that experience away with them and incorporate it into their sex life or love-making. Have they been touched in places that have surprised them or in ways that have been new for them. If the massage finished with orgasm, with or without discharge, was this in any way different from the usual experience they have, either self pleasuring or with a p

Barbara Carrellas in her book ‘Urban Tantra’ says that in tantric sex giving and receiving cannot be done at the same time. We cannot focus our full attention on two things at once. There needs to be periods when one is giving and the other receiving and vice versa. Being fully present in either the giving or receiving are at the heart of tantra. There is for me a powerful lesson here when we look at Mutual Touching in massage and what it means when men identify as Top or Bot

My first connection with Tantra was in a mens massage workshop in London where for the first time I saw a vibrating massage linked to each of the energy centres, the chakras. This didn’t take centre stage immediately because my first formal training was learning to deliver Swedish massage in a massage school. One of the men in the mens massage group turned round to me one day and said, ‘I’m just back from the first block of tantric massage training. It is absolutely amazing.

There are at least 3 areas that are regarded by some as tantric activity in the UK: - With Yoga Sexual Massage Tantric Massage I mention these because many male masseurs tick the box TANTRIC MASSAGE in the list of massages they offer. On websites there may be scantily clad ladies also advertising tantric massage. Are both of these really Tantric massage or are they sexual massage? How would clients searching online know the difference? We will look at that in a moment but let

Swedish massage, which is the basic western massage, is a western version of Chinese massage which was modified to fit into western culture and practices. Since the second world war other eastern practices have arrived in the west to be taken up by enthusiasts. They come from cultures which have not abandoned traditional ways of understanding human beings in an holistic way for the western, post enlightenment model based on science. In the west it is anatomy, physiology, bio

Before I move onto eastern massages I am going to talk about what are called ‘Naturist Massages’ because the issues raised here will surface again with eastern massages. Naturist massages reference the clothes being worn by clients and masseurs or masseuse. Men and women booking a Swedish, Deep Tissue or Sports may expect to undress down to underwear and will know their therapist will remain professionally clothed. Even in these massages men in particular, may remove underwe

Before I get on to talking about eastern massages and those that are individually created I must say something about regulation. In the Uk there is no national regulation of massage services. Anyone can advertise offering massages with charges. There is nothing that guarantees what facilities the massage will be delivered in. Is this surprising when there can hardly be a more vulnerable place we put ourselves into than when we allow someone to touch our naked bodies. Where re

Swedish massage is the basic western massage and any one who has completed a recognised programme will have a certificate. Whilst it came from the east it has been closely aligned with western thinking, scientific study and medical practice. No surprise then that the training includes some anatomy, physiology and pathology. The school I attended expected all students to wear clothes like those worn at your dentist or in a beauty salon. The massage is whole body but done in se

Why start a blog? Its 15 Years since I took any interest in massage and I subsequently enrolled on massage training programmes. When my training was completed I was able to offer a professional service. As I work alone at home in a dedicated room it was only safe for me to welcome men as clients, a downside of the single worker situation which precluded me using the experience I had gained from massaging women in my training. In 15 years I have laid my hands on hundreds of me